AKandolaJanuary 17, 20171 Comment on Recent Political History as Predicted by Corn

We’ll start with a brief, biased overview of history after World War 2 up until the late 1970’s where the first relevant commercial takes place. The late 1940’s and 1950’s were a time of American economic dominance. Part of this was the result of the absolute destruction of most of Europe and Japan and the struggles for independence in most of the rest of the world and part was due to a booming population, superior investment, and a (relative to today at least) functioning government. It was a time of heightening Cold War tensions, loose morals, and incredibly boring movies. It was not a good time to be non-White, but it was relatively glorious if you were (except if you were a woman too).

The 1960’s and early 70’s roll around and things start changing quick. America won a lot of things during this time: we ended racism forever in 1964 with the Civil Rights Act, we beat science in 1969 and realized we no longer need to care about it anymore, we permanently saved the environment with a series of bills in the early 1970’s such as the Clean Air Act, the Endangered Species Act, and the creation of the EPA (this one was a bit overboard as it is a superfluous organization representative of the increasing reach of bureaucracy, a mistake which will soon be rectified with its dissolution), and finally made some sweet video games. However, despite all of these seemingly incredible accomplishments, the seeds of our future failure were planted. The Vietnam War and the Watergate Scandal demolished our trust in the government. And even worse, the Immigration Act of 1965 started waves of invasion that continue to this day.

And with that, we get to the first commercial, taking place in the late 1970’s:

We start off with two kids, representing the average American, trying to enjoy their cereal when they are rudely interrupted by a man calling himself “Big Yella”. By the late 1970’s, income inequality (see below figure) in the US had already begun to rise from post-war lows in a phenomenon termed by some economists as “The Great Divergence”. This Big Yella guy, representing the wealthy and corporate interests attempts to buy out the cereal from the two kids. But, the late 70’s were also a time of high inflation so cereal was vastly overpriced and he has to offer some serious stuff just for a bowl of cereal. He also attempts to prostitute the environment by selling a big yellow bird (genetic modification perhaps?). The kids, obviously morally superior due to their being common Americans, reject the offers, but in the spirit of economic liberty and general goodwill offer the man a share. But the MAN is greedy and pulls out a giant spoon and begins to advertise this valuable resource for the whole world to see. We can expect that he will abuse his privilege and ravage the economy, foreshadowing the events of the 1980’s.

This brings us to our second commercial taking place in the 1980’s:

By this point, many major American cities, especially in the Northeast and Midwest, had been taken over by minorities and become crime-infested ghettos. The economy was experiencing stagflation, our reputation abroad was suffering, and inequality continued to rise. We can see some of these themes in the commercial. The mom is rushed because the economy has forced mothers to enter the labor force or barely survive  as a one-income household. They have turned to the woods to escape the crime rampage of the big city, convincing their daughter it was a “vacation”. The scarcity of resources, such as oil, is reflected in the existence of only one Corn Pops box in the entire store. But look! The old man, a metaphor for Ronald Reagan, enters and brings in a few more Corn Pops solving the crisis by increasing the supply of Corn Pops (supply-side economics?). But this will not solve the underlying issues and will only provide a temporary cover as the issues continue to bubble under the surface in the 1990’s.

The next commercial takes place in the 1990’s:

After the complete takeover of the left by the Neoliberal philosophy and the corporate stooges that pushed it, the economy experiences a resurgence in the 1990’s buoyed by the tech industry. But even though it seems that we have escaped the seeds of doom sewn in the 1970’s, this was possibly the worst thing that could have happened as we can see in this commercial. Aaron Paul, the boy in the commercial, representing the American populace, does not care at all about what his parents are saying, as long as he gets his Corn Pops. His mind has been completely taken over by commercial propaganda. But the parents, aka the government, are so out of touch with him, aka the people, that even though they think there is odd behavior, they are completely convinced that they have the situation under control and thus continue their policies as if nothing was wrong. They are blind to the trauma suffered by the people and are convinced their paternalistic philosophy is succeeding. This cannot be good.

Then, of course 9/11 happens, leading to the following commercial:

An apparent emergency situation in which Corn Pops are gone turns out to only be a nightmare and distracts us from the true underlying culprits, which are only hinted at in the commercial. Yes, 9/11 showed us that terrorism was an issue in America, but even while we dealt with terrorism, we were  distracted us from the economic and cultural decay taking place. Just look at the poor boy when he wakes up from this nightmare: studying himself to death at such a young age as reflected by the increasing need to go to College by today’s youth just to have any chance of a decent job. Little did these kids growing up in 2002 know that when they grew up, graduating from college is hardly a guarantee of anything except debt. We focused on the nightmare of terrorism, of no Corn Pops, but it was merely a symptom of the destruction of society perpetrated by the parents from the 90’s commercial, the old man from the 80’s commercial, and Big Yella from the 70’s.

And then, finally, the issues of globalization and immigration reach a climax in the following two (dating 2009 and 2010):

At this point, you may notice that there are no humans at all in the commercials. That is because people have bought into commercialism so hard that they’ve moved beyond being defined by the things they own and have actually become those things themselves. The American people are now Corn Pops. In the first commercial, a zombie invasion (representing the vast hordes of anti-American immigrants that have destroyed the culture of this country) invade a home and in the second, aliens (representing foreign governments/businesses/ideologies) do the same. At this point, one can clearly predict the rampant alarmism present in these advertisements. But, it is still not clear how this predicts the rise of President Orange.

This last commercial, dated 2009, will change that.

At surface level, it seems as if its just a play on High School Musical which came out around the same time, but in reality, it actually predicts Trump. Remembering that the American people are now Corn Pops, we see the emergency of a super Corn Pop. In this video, we can see many of the same traits exemplified by Donald Trump: an inflated ego, narcissism, strange coloration and body shape, but also an optimistic message and a clear rallying cry. He even asserts the same racial supremacy type arguments where he claims to be better than “other cereals” and yet we see in the video that these other cereals are still supposedly supporting him just like the real life narrative pushed by the Trump campaign where they claim minorities love them while simultaneously disparaging them. Anyone who saw through the details of this video could have seen that this super Corn Pop would emerge and provide the answer to the divisions plaguing this country. It is a shame that more people didn’t.

Unfortunately, the outcome of this is not going to be so good, as predicted by this 2008 commercial:

This President’s promises are all a mesmerizing dream and will not come to fruition. But hey, what do I know. I’m just a cereal enthusiast.